We blink and yet another school year passes. Our kids get closer to the finish-line of childhood, and we just hope that we’ve taught them well and well enough. Though having two kids, I realize that perhaps I don’t have a lot to do with the way they turn out. My oldest, that first day I held him, was quiet and studious. He’s remained that way. The younger kid, he was fighting right out of the shoot. When he was born, the first thing I asked the doctor was, “Why is he so loud?” He was, and continues to be, recalcitrant at every turn: the terrible twos right up to the even worse teens.
Perhaps the only affect I know for certain I’ve had on my kids is that they feel more in control of their lives than their classmates. When my older kid’s friends were over the other night, I asked one of the girls what she was doing next year for college. She told me, “I’m just waiting for Him to decide.” She pointed her finger up towards the sky. I nodded. She continued to explain the two options that lay before her.
You and I know that she’s simply postponing the difficult tasks of making a decision. We know, too, that it’s not God that works in mysterious ways, but our brains. By sitting on a decision and allowing some time to pass, sometimes our subconscious minds are able to sort through our options and help us decide. Sometimes, sh*t happens and decisions are made for us—a parent loses a job and college is no longer an option, or a deadline passes and an option is lost.
But not taking any action is also a decision. So while this young woman waits, hoping that “He” will decide, she has also decided not to take the reins of her future, not to put in the effort to think things through now.
Although no one is “watching out” for our kids as they start on their own adventures, you and I know, too, that there is also no imaginary man making decisions for them. They will have no God to ask, but also no God to blame.
(I just hope the girl doesn’t take that stance towards birth control: He decides. Speaking of teens and sex, fellow blogger Lisa Morguess wrote about this topic recently. Check it out; she’s got some great ideas: http://www.mamapedia.com/voices/courage-in-parenting.)
Have a safe and relaxing holiday!