First, before today’s post, I wanted to let everyone know that Shanan sent this message along to us: “George is back at work!! He is healing and getting better every day, and the more he does, the better he’s feeling. He’s well on his way to full recovery. Please let your readers know, and tell them again, my family is so thankful for every contribution… whether monetary or just words of support. It has all made such a difference!”
So thank you guys for reaching out to Shanan’s family!
Now onto the post for the day….
Heaven is for real folks. I’ve seen it. This kid has seen it, too. There are some things you need to know.
Heaven is crowded. And loud. There is standing room only. If you arrive unexpectedly, you may have to wait to enter. There is not really anyone there to greet you–it’s more like opening the door to a large frat party where a handful of people boisterously holler at you and the rest carry on with their drinking and merry-making.
The truth that needs to be told is that everyone gets in. I mean everyone. It doesn’t matter what you did or did not do on planet earth. Apparently, we got the story wrong. You know what happens when people don’t write things down right away. In heaven, you’re not judged by the car you drive or how beautiful you are. Everyone is equal. Everyone is the same. There are no fancy clothes. People don’t even have faces, which makes it darn difficult to find your loved ones. (You just have to keep asking around and hope that someone knows.)
Guns are prohibited. In fact, everything is prohibited: food, alcohol, chewing gum, books, bicycles. There is no eating or drinking allowed. Subsequently, there is no defecation or urination, but there is also no fornication. Talk about booooring.
Your pets will be there, by the way. Yes it appears that animals have souls, too. Unfortunately there are no bark collars and no leashes in heaven. All you hear is barking, barking, barking. You’ll hear chickens and cows and birds, too, but the dogs are the worst because they like to be close to people. (Big mistake making them “man’s best friend.”)
You don’t get to sleep or eat or work or watch TV, so you better enjoy all that now while you can. Yeah, who would’ve thought work was enjoyable? Just spend an eternity doing nothing, and you’ll be begging for a job to do. You don’t get to play. You can’t golf or run or drive cars. So do all the playing you can before you make your final vacation plans to “paradise.”
Everyone is awake all the time. And they talk and talk and talk. If you like to talk, trust me, after a few thousand years of nonstop yakking, you’ll be begging for earplugs. Some people get bored and sing. This is not always a good as certain voices get the dogs howling. (The harp thing is complete BS. There are no musical instruments allowed either.)
I was not able to speak with the man in charge, the big guy. Word is he rarely speaks to anyone, being old and tired. I did hear the story of Adam and Eve is complete bollocks. As are most other stories we tell down here. There are no such things as angels or devils, and there are no plans for these sorts of thing.
Being that heaven is so very far out in outer space, not only is it beyond frigid, it’s also very damn dark. Heaven doesn’t have any nearby stars or planets–that’s how it’s escaped detection by the living. There are no beautiful sunrises or sunsets (what did you expect in such a remote location?). There is nothing to smell. No flowers. No cookies baking. No favorite perfumes. No new car or new baby smell. There is nothing to touch either. No warm skin. No soft blankets. Forever and ever.
Heaven is for real. See what we have to look forward to?